Earlier this week you were assigned to write an observation essay, an assignment which requires you tell in detail about a specific event or experience. Your essay should include telling details and well-written, interesting sentences.
As you work on this assignment, I am going to ask that you post an excerpt from your essay in the comment section of this blog. It can be as short as three to four sentences, or as much as an entire paragraph. However, it must be an excerpt that you illustrate the following:
- Several telling, specific details that demonstrate a close observation of your event.
- Several well-crafted sentences, including those beginning with effective ING phrases or subordinate clauses.
Your excerpt is not a summary of your essay in progress. Instead, it is a paragraph that's part of your larger assignment. The purpose here is to share a piece of your work with your classmates and to provide opportunity for more feedback on your writing.
Before submitting your writing, remember to PROOFREAD!
5 comments:
The arm descended on the back of his head, sending him sprawling to the floor. The shrill blast of the referee's whistle sounded, stopping the action. Zack was awarded two shots for the foul committed against him. Stepping up to the free throw line, a million thoughts cascaded through his head. The deafening crowd's noise, the coach's screams, the player's cheers, all of it blocked out. He breathed heavily and desperately tried to wipe the sweat from his palms on his already soaked jersey. The magnitude of the importance of the shots hit him, he was ready to take the challenge.
-zack owen
Nervous excitemnet hung in the air as Krista furiously tied her hair back. Just before exiting the dressing room she stooped down to retie the laces of her black hip hop sneaker, for assurance they wouldn't fall off. after giving herself a quick glance in the mirror she scrambled off to join the slew of girls already waiting by the stairs.
Krista marino
Kids pace back and forth in the streching hallway all nervously racing through their monologue as they then curse themselves on little mistakes and start again. They smile through their teeth and cry through a past memory for an additional effect. The door opens and the director steps out, she calls for the next kid to audition, the girl smiles and stands up out of her seat, sh struts past the stuttering boy who just exitted the room. She flips her blonde hair back and hands the director her bio. The kids heads turn in envy, the door clses, they return to memorizing, the girl begins to sweat.
Stepping onto the basketball court was very exciting to me. The fans yelling with anticipation of the game. The announcer saying the names of the players. As the ball goes up and the whistle blows all you think about is putting the round orange ball into the basket.
AJ
Even taking a family photo in Sheree's family was chaotic with 22 grandchildren and over half of them being under the age of 10 years old. As few families began to arive early, the photographer began to grow anxious and frustrated. Finally the last family began to stroll in with six small kids. As her Aunt Bestsy strolled in lugging two small chilren in each arm, and the oldest daughter Alyssa, of 9 years, was crying and screaming....
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